What is This?
by Marshmello09
Summary: Something’s changed over the summer. Only Bella knows what truly happened. Now she has no friends, her family is ruined, and her haven is in her bedroom with a razor. The Cullens come to her town in South Australia. AH OOC lemons, profanity, rape, abuse
1. Prologue

**Summary: **Bella used to be popular, beautiful, and had a perfect family, a perfect life. Bella's changed over the summer, something happened. The only person who knows what truly happened is Bella. Now she has no friends, her family is ruined, and her safe haven is in her bedroom with her rusty razor. The Cullens come to her town in South Australia. Can one of them help her? Will she learn to trust again? AH, OOC, maybe Lemons, rape, abuse, profanity.

**Epilogue**

**BPOV**

I ran the razor along the skin of my left forearm, not quite cutting deep enough to make it bleed. Taking the razor away from my skin, I admired the line, next to all my healed over scars, and some more recent ones. I took the razor, sliding it along the slit, applying more pressure than before. I groaned as I slashed downwards. It slid deep and it stung. A lot. It was a strange sting though, a prickling, you could feel exactly where it was breaking the layers of skin, to the redness. As I removed the metal, a drop of blood slid out of the cut, swelling into a round blob, before rolling over the edge and down my arm. I watched it swirl as it trickled down, leaving a red line in its wake. It was so beautiful. It smelled good. I love the smell of blood. And the taste…


	2. Chapter 1: Bellsie and Loon Tang

**A/N: Ok this is my first fanfic and yea I know it sucks but please review let me know what you thing or it, anything!! Maybe just tell me how your day was, or what the weathers like wherever you are! So yea R&R!! ****Let me know what you think of the story PLEASE! Enjoy! Oh and I really screwed up the epilogue thing. Its not and epilogue cos that's at the end of a story right? Well I'm pretty sure I meant it to be a prologue, what I mean is I want it to be before the story. I seriously confused myself with it so yeah, it's the one that's goes BEFORE the story. Ok. Read on…**

**Chapter 1: **

**BPOV**

I heard the familiar thumping of footsteps down the narrow hall, warning me someone was coming. By the sounds of it, they belonged to my older brother, Louis, coming to talk to me about something. I had just been sitting on my bed staring into space, thinking of anything but what I always dreaded to think about. Louis was the only one who knew of my cutting, not even my dad, Charlie, knew; I hid them well. I turned my head to face the door, staring at it, just to creep him out when he came in.

Louis just turned 17 and he's doing year 12 this year. He really takes after Charlie – aside from the beer gut – he's tall, lanky, muscular, has the brown hair, hazel eyes, perfect tanned skin of our father and not to mention handsome. He's also popular, smart, _really_ talented in sports, and for some reason always has a different girl under his arm. I don't know why he enjoys it so much, I mean, I've been there, it was that great, hanging out with Miss. I-cant-shut-the-fuck-up-especially-if-I'm-gossiping – otherwise known as Jessica -- and having every freaking dumbass jock following you everywhere, checking out your ass. Oh well…

Louis walked in, catching me staring deeply into his eyes, with a blank expression upon my face. It caught him off guard and he got this panicked look in his eyes. I kept staring, as he looked around frantically, occasionally glancing to see if I was still staring, which I was. Eventually, I couldn't help but breaking into a fit of laughter. Louis looked angry for a second, then his face softened and he smiled, before coming over and sitting on the bed next to me, putting his arm around my shoulder. My brother, my awesome brother, is my only friend, my best friend. Despite my brother's popularity, he would risk everything if anyone picked on me. He's the only one I can trust, and feel comfortable enough with to tell him anything. He's also the only one I can really be myself around; I don't get on well with other people. Not anymore.

"What do _you_ want?" I asked in a mock disgusted voice, and then giggled.

"Just checking on you," He really does worry about me too much.

"Well everything's fine, stop worrying. Go hang out with your girlfriend. What was her name? I forget; you've had too many! Josie? Jane? J...J…Jo! Am I right?"

"Yea, Bellsie, and I think she's the one, and this time I mean it!"

"Pfft, yea right, Loon Tang, like you could ever keep a girl longer than a week!" I made up that nickname when we were just kids.

"Hey! Seriously, I bet I could be with her for the rest of the year!" Well, he must be serious 'cos there's still three more terms of school.

"Ok, deal! You do realise that it's only the end of term one, right?"

He looked taken aback, then recovered. "Yea, Bellsie, I know, I'm that confident, she is the one!" He extended his hand.

I took it, and we did our handshake, which no one knows except us.

I pulled away, looked out the window and sighed. When I looked back to Louis, his smile was gone, replaced with a grim expression on his face.

I groaned. "Spit it out."

"Why won't you go to school?" He asked. "It's been weeks."

"I don't see why I should. No one wants me there. I don't want to be there. If I don't go, everyone's happy."

"You don't even care what other people think, Bellsie, you need to learn, it matters in year 11!"

"It doesn't matter to me. And how do you know I don't care what other people think, huh?"

"It's pretty bloody obvious, Bellsie, and you know it." He had a point there. I always wore black, anything to show my mood. And by doing so, I stood out more than any person in the whole school. Somehow there was no one else who dressed like me at school. Some of my outfits have been pretty crazy I have to admit. What I'd never admit, was that I did care what they thought of me, every hostile glare cut deeper than any of my cuts. Sometimes I wish that everything would go back to normal where everyone was happy, and then I remember what happened last summer…

I sighed in defeat, "Fine, I'll go tomorrow, if I feel like it."

Louis grinned at his victory, "Thank you thank you thank you!!!"

I laughed and playfully punched his arm. Another thing about Louis, he did wrestling, and had taught me self-defence which I was extremely grateful for. "Over dramatic, much?"

Louis chuckled, and then paused.

"What?"

"I just remembered, there's a family that moved here last week. The kids are in both our years. They start tomorrow."

"I see," I murmured. Great. They'll be the topic of discussion for weeks. They'll have heard all the rumours in no time. More people to think I'm a freak. Joy.

_Don't be so self-centred; what makes you think they talk about you all the time? _I thought to myself. I felt extremely lame after that.

"So you'll still come tomorrow? Please?"

"Ok, fine, but you have to hang with me at lunch."

"Anything for you Bellsie," Louis smiled. I knew I could rely on him to do anything as long as I had a smile on my face.

He kissed my forehead, then left, leaving me to stare into space yet again


	3. Chapter 2: School

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry it's been a while, but this story just hasn't been my highest priority lately, having gotten a boyfriend that I'd liked for months!! Then my aunty dying, then me fighting with many friends, taking up air force cadets and belly dancing, dumping my boyfriend cos he still loved his ex (yea that one hurt a lot) and now those two are back together which SUCKS cos I see them all the time at school holding hands and all that fucking shit! And a whole lot of other crap, SO finally here is the next chapter!!!**

**BPOV**

I woke the next morning to the sound of my alarm which my brother had conveniently set to 6:30am when I was asleep. There went my excuse to have 'accidentally' slept in. I groaned as I stretched and wiped the sleep from my eyes. I was so incredibly tired; more so than usual. I barely had any sleep last night; something in the back of my mind kept telling me something was going to change. I had no idea what.

I heard the thundering of footsteps down the hall, then in the next instant, my door was open as Louis ran and jumped on my bed.

I screamed, throwing my pillow at him, "Argh, get _off _me!!!"

He laughed evilly, "Never!! Now get up or I'll make you!"

_Oh no. _I jumped out of bed in a flash, remembering the last time he made me get up which involved stuffing ice cubes down my top. I shuddered. It hurt just thinking about it.

"Go, go, go! I'll time you! Be quick. I need a shower too you know!" My idiotic brother called after me as a raced off to the bathroom.

I tried to spend as much time as possible in the shower, washing my hair and shaving my legs, to try and miss the bus, but that plan failed when Louis turned on the tap in the kitchen and the water went freezing, then boiling hot. I gave up trying to even out the temperature and got out to dry myself.

As I dried myself I looked myself over in the mirror.

_Ugh, look at you, all those scars over your body, you're hideous, and it's all your fault. _I hated to be reminded or how I'd come to be this way.

I was disrupted from my thoughts by a banging on the door. "Hey! Get out of there, it's my turn." Louis yelled.

I sighed, and walked out of the bathroom, got dressed in my awesomely 'emo' clothes and headed downstairs. I noticed Charlie had already gone to work, his cruiser missing from the driveway.

As I opened the fridge to get the milk out, I stubbed my toe on the door. _Fuck! _I muttered, just my luck. I could tell today was going to be a _really_ bad day. As I limped to the table, I smelt the milk. It was off.

"Are you kidding me!?!" I asked to no one.

After deciding not to have breakfast at in fear of eating a cockroach, I thought I should probably get my school books together. It would probably be useless, as I hadn't done any work in weeks, but I wanted to take up as much time as I could, and miss that blasted bus.

Just as I finished putting all my books for the day in my bag (I'm surprised I even remembered my timetable), I heard Louis' feet padding down the hall.

"Are you ready to go Bellsie – Oh _shit_ we gotta go!" He yelled.

I smiled smugly to myself. No school for me today. _He he he._

10 minutes later Louis came down, dressed and ready, and spotted me lying on the couch, relaxed.

He laughed, "Nice one Bellsie, but you're not getting out of going to school today."

"But brother dearest, I appear to have missed the bus," I replied innocently.

"No biggie, we'll take the Ute."

I stared at him blankly, "No _fucking_ way you're getting me in that _monstrosity _of what you call a car!"

"Come on Bellsie, please? You promised you'd come to school today!"

I sighed, hating him for making me feel guilty about breaking a promise, "_Fine!"_ I hissed, dramatically.

I was thrown out of my anger towards him when I felt his arms wrap around my waist and lift me over his shoulder.

"Thankyou_ soooo _much, Bellsie!! I love you!"

I screamed and started kicking him as I noticed he picked up my bag and carried me out to the bloody Ute. Once he got me into the front seat, I gave up and crossed my arms in mock anger.

"That's the spirit sis! You're gonna have a great day, I can just tell!"

I glared at him, but on the inside I was amused at the contrast of our different attitudes. I didn't admit it, but I also had a feeling this day was going to be different to all the previous ones, being gawked at and having rumors about me whispered behind my back just loud enough for me to hear. I refused to think about the reason I had become like this, but sometimes it just came to my mind.

-- Flashback --

_The man stalked towards me, and I was terrified. As he approached I noticed a knife in his hand. I gasped, knowing this was the end. The only thing I could think about was my big brother, Louis, my only true friend that I could always trust. _

_A second later, the man was standing over me as I cowered in the corner. _

"_Please don't," I whispered over and over, knowing it was no use. _

_As he came into the light I saw a horrible smirk spreading across his creepy face. It made me shiver in fear. As soon as I saw it, I knew what was to come…_

_--_ End flashback --

I looked out the window and realized we were at school already. I looked across the parking lot and saw the school bus pull up. Wow, driving really was a lot faster than the bus.

I opened my door and got out, grabbing my bag on the way. Before Louis was swamped by all his 'friends', I gave him a hug and muttered a 'thanks'. I heard him say something like I was gonna have a good day. _Yeah, right. _As I headed towards my first class, English, I heard the whispers of the new family coming school. Things like 'I wonder if the ranga is single', 'one of them looks like a pixie', 'how are they all related? They all look so different!', 'the blonde one looks like a model!'. I sighed, annoyed. Do they have no lives? I guess I was glad I didn't hear much about me apart from 'goth girl has returned, 'bout time, too', but that dint really bother me.

I entered my English classroom and stopped short. At the back corner of the classroom, someone was there. In. My. Chair. Oh hell no.

It was a guy, must've been one of the new kids. What made me curious was the fact that he was, oh dear, the hottest emo boy I have ever seen! He was in all black, with black converse, sitting there glaring at the table. His hair was a long, shaggy/curly golden blond, which fell over his eyes. He was perfect…then I remembered who I was and tat I was angry at him. He was probably some fake attention-seeking loser. I already felt myself despising this guy. I mean, he was in my chair! That's just too far.

I stomped over to him, and when I was right next to him, I coughed to get his attention. He slowly looked up and I noticed he had black eyeliner around his mesmerizing blue eyes.

Our eyes locked, and we stared for what seemed like hours. Then, he seemed to come back to earth, and glared at me.

"Yes?" He asked, moodily.

Well, wasn't that rude. "You're in my seat," I seethed back at him.

"Am I? I'm so very sorry, I didn't notice that we were still in primary school and put our names on the chairs," he shot back, sarcastically.

I blushed, embarrassed, and stormed off t the only other available seat at the very front. For the rest of the class I sat there, fuming.

As soon as the bell rang, I stalked off to my next class, Maths.

If the rest of his family is like that, I don't know how on earth I'm going to cope…

Today is going to be very interesting…


	4. Chapter 3: Bitch

**A/N: Here is the much belated third chapter! Only three years late… More to come soon! Hopefully you like my newer writing style :) and let me know what you think of Jasper! **

**JPOV**

I knew a fresh start was meant to be good, but I really did not want to go to school today… The rest of my siblings were eager to start our first day, but to me it just felt like another waste of time. My younger sister, Alice, had forced me into the car. She's small but boy is she bossy.

I shoved my ear plugs into my ears and blasted Lamb of God the whole way to school. Bliss…

We arrived at school and headed to the front office.

"Hi, I'm Millie, would you like me to show you around?" I looked up to see a bottle blonde girl beaming at me. Gross.

"Good luck, buttercup," I laughed at her. She looked confused for a second, then my older brother Edward interrupted her thoughts, or lack thereof. "Hey gorgeous," he winked at her, "Don't worry about him, he can be a bit of a cynical bastard". How he could be attracted to girls like her, I had no idea. I looked at my timetable, first period: English. I hate English.

As I walked through the hallway, I felt the eyes of the other students follow me. Who cares what they think? I found my locker, chucked my books in my locker and found my English room. It was about half full, but spotted an empty spot in the back corner and sat down, iPod still in, and stared at the book we were supposed to be studying. I heard someone cough and looked up, only to see the hottest chick I had ever laid eyes on. _Fuck me…_ I then realised she was glaring at me and glared right back.

"Yes?"

"Well, wasn't that rude. "You're in my seat," She replied fiercely.

"Am I? I'm so very sorry, I didn't notice that we were still in primary school and put our names on the chairs," I always did have a tendency to be sarcastic when someone annoyed me.

She paused, then stormed off to the only other available seat at the very front. She deserved it.

English flew surprisingly fast, and before I knew it the bell rang. Second period: Maths. Only the best subject ever…

The girl practically ran out of the room the instant the bell rang. _What a bitch._


	5. Chapter 4: Maths

**A/N: Hey guys, not sure what you think of the last chapter so please review **

**BPOV**

I left English as soon as possible, humiliated by that cocky dick… that ridiculously attractive cocky dick. I arrived at Maths early and took my seat up the back. My teacher, Mr Scanlon, was the only other person in the room.

"Ah, Miss Swan, nice to finally see you, it's been a while," he smiled at me.

I forced a smile, but knew it wasn't convincing. "The pleasure is all mine, Mr Scanlon. What did I miss while I was gone?" I had always liked my Maths teacher; he made Maths interesting and was able to make even the hardest problems make sense with his weird analogies. He was the reason I had loved maths, but since what happened over the summer, I couldn't stand doing a single maths problem. He had a brilliant mind, and a wonderful personality. He was one of the only people I truly admired.

"Oh, nothing much, we just began Differential Equations, I'm sure you'll catch on just fine," What that a hint of sarcasm? "Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about your last test… You got a C+… Last year you were on high A's for every topic, what happened?" Either he was pretending that he hadn't heard the rumours, or truly had no idea of the events that had occurred between then and now. And that was practically unheard of. I thought everyone in the Hills had been gossiping about it.

_- Start Flashback –_

"_Help," I screamed, but nothing came out, no one heard me. His hand covered my mouth. It smelt of cigarettes and whisky; I nearly gagged from the stench. _

_-End Flashback—_

"Just a phase, I guess," I shrugged. That's what the school counsellor had told Charlie, _just a phase.._. More students began to trickle in. Mr Scanlon had begun the lesson when that asshole walked in.

"Ah, you must be Jasper, am I correct?" Asked Mr Scanlon, cheerily. The boy had a name. _Jasper…_

He nodded in reply, showing little interest in the teacher, and more on the board behind him. His eyes scanned the equations at a startling pace. Then I realised the only spot left was next to me. _Great._

**JPOV**

"Is this seat taken?" I asked with a mocking smile. I saw a knowing look in her eyes, remembering our run-in earlier.

Without acknowledging my presence, she moved her books to her side of the desk.

Wow, she smelt good. Like a mix of strawberries and mangoes and something else that I couldn't put my finger on. It reminded me of warm summer nights on the beach. It was simply delicious…

I tried to focus on the teacher but I had learnt it all before. I'd always been gifted in Maths and passed year 11 Extended Maths last year with flying colours. But somewhere along the line I'd lost my motivation for it, so decided to repeat it here. I noticed that the bitch next to me wasn't taking any notes, just drawing a sparrow on her notebook.

"…So here is this fortnights assignment. It will be paired, as per usual, but I expect you all to do equal amounts of work." Mr Scanlon, or whatever his name was, walked over to us. "Now, Bella, I know you usually do your assignments by yourself, but now that Jasper is here I think it'd make sense that you be his partner. I hear he's quite talented, so maybe he could help you with getting your grades back up."

_Bella_ looked horrified for a moment, then plastered a fake smile on her lips, "Sure thing, anything to make _Jasper_ feel welcome."

The teacher walked away and still looking at her notebook, said, "Okay you can do part A and I'll do part B. We'll combine our answers next week."

"Part B is harder, are you sure you won't need my help?" I smirked at her.

She looked me in the eye this time, "That's awful generous of you, but I'll be fine, thanks for the offer." I hadn't noticed the colour of her eyes until now. They were almost black, mysterious and untrusting. My curiosity spiked. There was something rare about them, like there was a secret buried within them, yearning to be set free.

"Well I'm here if you need." She rolled her eyes and packed up her books, just before the bell went and was gone before I knew it.


	6. Chapter 5: Home Time

**A/N: Please review to let me know what you think of my story! Next chapter will be up in a few days :) hope everyone is enjoying it so far :) **

**JPOV**

"So, how was everyone's first day?" Asked Alice at the dinner table. We were having Lasagne, my favourite. Mum must've sensed my dissatisfaction with the day and decided to make the only meal that could make me happy no matter what the situation.

Edward replied first, "It was awesome; there are so many hot chicks here!"

Rose, my older sister, rolled her eyes and said, "It was alright, I like my teachers."

Emmett, who was younger that me but could pass for 20 with his broad shoulders and deep voice, shrugged, "Could've been better, everyone looked at me weird."

"Who wouldn't?" Laughed Alice, "Well I had the best day ever! Everyone is so nice to me, what about you, Jaz?"

I frowned at her, "Since when did I say you could call me that?"

"Since I say so! Tell everyone how your first day was!"

I sighed and everyone looked at me expectantly. "I don't know."

"How do you not know?"

"I just don't, stop asking so many questions," Annoyed, I picked up my plate headed to my room.

As I was walking away, I head Alice's high-pitched voice, "Jeez, grumble bum, much?"

I sat on my bed, fuming for a few minutes until I had a bite of the delicious lasagne and all of my feelings drifted away. I savoured the taste, eating slowly to avoid finishing it. I soon felt bad for going off at Alice, it wasn't her fault. She was the one who kept the family together, and I should be grateful that she still puts in the effort for me. My thoughts drifted to Bella. Now she was maddening. I couldn't be sure if that was a good thing or not. I hadn't forgotten about how hostile she'd been towards me. A total bitch, for no reason whatsoever. The more I thought about her, the more I realised how aggravating she was. Not even the lasagne could rid me of these thoughts. I knew I'd promised Alice I'd never do it again, but the situation called for it. Within 10 minutes, I was already feeling the effects of the alcohol. I'd really missed the feeling of having all of my worries lift from me like a lead blanket being lifted from my shoulders. A sense of relief washed over me as I lay on my bed and stared up at the roof. It was ecstasy. _Fuck the World_ I thought, _fuck Bella and her stupid maths assignment._

**BPOV**

I slammed the door behind me and stormed straight to my room. _What a fucking asshole!_ His ego was bigger than an elephant. He made me feel stupid and childish, which I absolutely loathed. The events from today reminded me of how much of a failure I was. It would be impossible for me to make new friends after what had happened, and this would never change, no matter how much time passed. My anger against him soon turned to a strange sensation of grief. Grief for my old self. I'd promised myself I'd never wish for my old life, but tonight I missed the feeling of belonging and reassurance. A sharp pain shot up my arm and brought me out of my wonderings. I hadn't noticed that I was clenching my fist and the razor I'd been holding in my hand had pierced my palm. A small droplet of red formed at the edge of it. I licked at it. The pain had brought me back to reality. My old friends were fake, disloyal to each other, and selfish. There had been no belonging or reassurance there.

I inspected the cut on my hand and lifted the razor to it, extending the incision to the other side of my palm. While I did this, I thought of his eyes. When I'd looked into his eyes today, I couldn't believe someone so arrogant could have such stunning eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of blue I'd ever seen, piercing, like ice, but not cold. They seemed to penetrate right into me, comforting me somehow. For the first time ever, I couldn't stand to look at the razor. I opened the draw of my bedside table and threw it in, feeling sick from the sight of it. I walked to the bathroom and covered the cut as soon as possible. I was so confused; I usually got comfort from the cutting, even if it was only momentary. This time was different, and it scared me.

I went straight to bed, starving, anything to avoid talking to Charlie or Louis. It was the first time in weeks that I didn't have nightmares of the night that changed me forever.


	7. Chapter 6: Got milk?

**A/N: Well hello! I am so sorry about not updating sooner but I have been ridiculously busy with exams and getting a new job etc. This chapter probably isn't as well edited as I'd hoped but I really wanted to post it!**

**Don't forget to review to let me know what you think :) **

**BPOV**

I woke from a dreamless sleep, feeling completely rested, as if I'd been asleep for centuries. My anger from last night had dissipated considerably; I had a clear mind and was able to think rationally about Jasper. Perhaps I had overreacted a bit, and should give him a chance.

It was a lovely day. Louis offered to drive me in his Ute so I was able to stare out the window and appreciate the blue of the sky in contrast with the green of the fields. I found myself thinking of Jasper and what I would say to him.

My first lessons breezed by in the blink of an eye until I ended up outside of the Maths room. Walking through the hallways, I drowned out the sound of other students gossiping, saying lies about me. I used to lie in bed and cut myself from the things they said, but over time I learnt to ignore them. Jasper was in my seat once again, smirking at me. Instead of blowing him off like I usually would, I headed for the seat next to him. His expression changed as he cocked his head to one side, staring at me quizzically. He was utterly adorable. I pretended not to be affected by his gorgeous features and took the seat next to him.

"Hey?" He asked, visibly bewildered.

"Hi," I replied, ignoring his confusion. We sat there for the remainder of the lesson in silence, but I was sure I felt a change in the air between us; I felt drawn to him. I wondered if he felt it too.

The lesson ended and Jasper got up to leave. I don't know what I was thinking, but out of nowhere I blurted out, "I need a hand on the assignment." Oh, my God, do I have no shame? I'd practically completed the assignment far beyond the expectations of Mr Scanlon; I certainly did not need help.

That now-familiar egotistical smile played on his lips. "Knew you would, your place at 6?"

**JPOV**

We weren't touching but I could feel her, as if there was something between us, connecting us in an invisible bond, a magnetic field drawing me to her. It was impossible to concentrate. I noticed a small bandage covering her hand, and was going to ask her about it when the bell rang. She'd asked for help on the assignment. I knew she couldn't resist me, I thought, smiling to myself.

The rest of the day flew by quickly enough and before I knew it, I was in the car park waiting for Alice. I spotted Bella from across the lot, with a guy who looked related to her. He said something and she laughed, but it didn't reach her eyes. Then she caught my eye and her smile vanished. We stayed that way for what seemed like minutes, but was only a split second, and then she was gone.

I changed my clothes into something more casual, my nicest trackies, a blue Abercrombie and Fitch hoodie, and black leather Converse. I felt a twinge of nervousness as I rode my red Yamaha R6 along the winding roads to her house, but quickly pushed it to the back of my mind. There were no cars in the driveway, so I assumed she was the only one home.

I knocked on the door and a few seconds later I was graced with the presence of the beautiful, and yet temperamental Bella Swan.

"Why hello there," I flashed her my charming smile. She was wearing trackies and a long-sleeved shirt that clung to her body and odd socks. I must say, she looked cute.

She looked me up and down and swallowed, then looked past me, focusing on the bike. "You ride?"

"Yep, she's my pride and joy. The love of my life," I replied proudly.

She cocked a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me and turned, leading me to a small living area with a tiny wooden table, where her work books lay open. She sat and I sat next to her, and looked into her dark eyes.

"So, what do you need help with?" I asked.

"Just the second section, the proofs," Bella replied, looking at her work.

"Can I see what you've done so far?"

"No."

"Alrighty, then… well I'll show you where to get started in proving the theorems and we'll see how you go." I wrote down the beginnings of each proof, noticing how interested she looked. I felt that same charge between us, it was enticing

"Wait, you made a mistake," she interrupted suddenly.

"What? Where?"

"There." She pointed to an error in the equation that I really didn't expect someone who is struggling to pick up on. Perhaps she wasn't as dumb as she appears…

I frowned at her, puzzled. She just shrugged, "Can I get you anything? Tea, coffee, biscuits?"

"Coffee, thanks, milk, no sugar," I gave her a quick smile.

As she hopped up, she stumbled on what appeared to be her own feet, and grabbed my arm to stabilize herself. A shock ran through my arm to the tips of my fingers and sent a shiver down my spine. My eyes locked on hers and by the look on her face, she felt it too.

A moment passed, then I remembered who I was, "Are you okay?" I teased her, hiding my concern.

She shook out of the daze, letting go of my arm, then strode towards the homely kitchen. I felt a strange sense of loss without her touching me; it was disturbing to say the least.

Bella was taking her sweet time, so I decided to go and see what was taking so long.

Her back was facing me and what a fine sight it was; she was struggling with something on the coffee machine.

**BPOV**

The damn milk wasn't frothing properly, it was so freaking frustrating; Jasper was probably wondering what was taking so long.

I sensed him behind me and before I knew it, his arm reached in front of me and grabbed the metal container, "Here, I'll do it," his voice was soft and gentle but I wasn't going to let him undermine me.

"No, I can do it—," in an attempt to snatch back the jug, the boiling milk poured all over him and I, burning the skin under my thin shirt.

"_Fuck!_ Why do you always have to try and make me feel so _useless_ all the time?!" I shouted at him.

"Hey, screw you! I was only trying to help. Jeez, you can be such a fucking bitch! Fuck this stuff is hot!" He glowered back at me before pulling off his shirt to reveal a wonderful sight to behold. Rock hard abs, perfectly shaped V leading to his low strung trackies. He looked _so_ much better shirtless. Then I remembered how angry I was and how hot my skin was burning. Going topless didn't seem like such a bad idea now. My furiousness made me completely irrational and soon enough I was standing there with just a bra on, in front of the sexiest man I had ever met. The coolness from the air was a relief.

The look in his eyes changed slightly as they travelled down to my chest. They still held the fire in them, but there was something else, _hunger_. Something deep in my body stirred and as his stunning blue eyes locked with mine, I knew there was no resisting him. I noticed a small tattoo on his chest but before I could work out what it was, the gap between us was closed and his lips found mine immediately. He pressed me against the cupboards as my hands found his unruly hair. His tongue slipped between my lips and I eagerly granted him access, meeting his with mine just as keenly. He moaned and ground his hips into mine so I could feel his erection against my stomach. His hands searched all over my body, before one ended up on my neck and the other on my waist, squeezing with just the right pressure. I felt a throbbing begin between my thighs when he grabbed my hair, holding me in place. _No._

_-Flashback-_

_From behind, He grasped my hair in his huge hand and yanked it back, making me cry out in pain. I was sure some hair was pulled out. _

"_Stop moving, slut." _

_-End-_

Before I knew what I was doing, I shoved Jasper away from me as hard as I could. "Get the fuck off me, jackass!"

"What the fuck, Bella?!" He looked confused and hurt but none of that mattered. He made me feel the same as I'd felt that night and I knew I'd never forgive him for it.

I was shaking uncontrollably and tears threatened to spill over, "Get the fuck out of my house!" I screamed at him. I didn't recognise the sound that came from my mouth. It was filled with pure fear and hatred.

He stared at me for a moment, shocked, as if he was going to say something, then changed his mind, grabbing his books and shirt and without a glance back, slammed the door on the way out.

I dropped to the floor as the tears spilled over. Soon they were streaming down my cheeks as I sobbed and sobbed. I couldn't rid my mind of that man, I remembered every detail so vividly. That night replayed over and over in my head so clearly. I would never forget his face and I would never forget how he made me feel.

It felt like I'd sat there for hours, but when I looked at the clock, it'd only been 20 minutes. I heard Louis' car pull up, and knowing he would demand to know what happened, I dashed to my room and climbed into bed. I pretended to be asleep when he came in my room to check on me and the next minute I was being shaken awake by someone.

"Jas-?" I started, groggily.

"Bells, it's me, you were having a nightmare," As my eyes adjusted, I saw the concern etched on my brother's face.

"Was I?" then the dreams started to come back to me. A dark man standing over me, holding me still, not being able to move without being in excruciating pain. It was a relief to be awake, able to move freely.

"Yeah, you haven't had one that bad for months, what's going on?"

"I don't know. I'll be fine though, go back to sleep."

"…Okay," He hesitated, then left but not before giving me a hug. It really did help to know he cared for me so much. I glanced at my clock: 5am. There goes any chance of getting back to sleep. I lay there for a while, the events of last night coming back to me. I thought of Jasper kissing me with such passion made my face flush. I hadn't meant to snap, but he was the first guy since that night that I'd kissed and I all I could see where images of that night. Perhaps it was best if I didn't associate with him anymore.

In maths, I was early, and sat at the front once again. I kept my head down when he arrived, avoiding eye contact. The entire lesson I felt his eyes bearing into the back of my head.

A week later, the assignments were due and since I arrived before Jasper, I dropped my part on his desk before taking my now usual seat at the front. When it came to the end of the lesson and we had to hand up the assignments, he walked to the front and handed it to the teacher, not glancing my way once. He looked sincerely pissed off.


End file.
